9 to 5

My bubbly heart brings to mind Dolly Parton's bubbly voice and bubbly...well, we won't go there...having just finished my first interview for my new life in Texas! A phone interview for a job that I would LOVE to have.

I felt that it went really well; harder to tell on the phone, but I felt a genuine connection and real happiness as we talked!

Whatever happens, today have me an extra dose of hope about my future in Texas, my marketability, and my new job... whatever it may be! I'm saying my prayers for this one!

Happiness Hangover

I woke up this morning with the taste of this weekend's delicious memories on my tongue, and an ache in my heart knowing that I am about to bid the people I love most farewell. From breakfast with my entire family at my favorite diner, to a slumber party and glorious hike with my very best friend, to an evening with the family at the fair....I think it finally started to sink in that the adventure my husband and I are embarking upon is a solitary one, and requires us to leave the ones we love.

The fair brought back so many wonderful memories of family time together, taking in the feeling of animal fur on my fingertips and the rich earthy aromas, drinking ice cold chocolate milk. What joy to see my precious nephew, almost a year old, petting the goats and eating ice cream, exploring the world with such hunger and delight. And my sister, my best friend since birth, and I eating balboa bars with the same fervor that we consumed them in our youth. When will I be able to do this again?

And my best friend and I, the dynamic duo since our first day at UCI, sitting on her bed and talking about our relationships and feelings, with more honesty than we often reveal to ourselves. How can I leave my precious friend?

The overabundance of love, joy, and feelings of belonging that I experienced this weekend left me with a heartache when I awoke alone this morning. I'm certain that this is the first of many mornings that I will long for this blessed life and these adored people that I am leaving. But what an age we live in, and what an opportunity to get creative with communication to maintain and strengthen those bonds of love.

Insanity and all its attributes

Every morning for the past two weeks, I have passed from sleep to waking, basking in the warm early morning glow, tenderly wiped the sleep from my eyes as I embrace the coming day, and asked myself in all sincerity, "HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?!?!"

The contemplation of my total insanity lasts only a few moments as the barrage of "to-do's" comes flooding into my psyche, drowning in its wake the pesky voice that keeps asking me if this is going to be a disaster.

I'm a law school wife. In other seasons of my life I would identify myself differently.... as a producer, a runner, a friend, and expert cook.... but for now, this singular focus has taken over my sense of self: I am picking up my life to support my husband in his dream of studying and practicing law in his home state. I am leaving behind my career, my loving family, and all present assurances of security and taking off on an adventure, deep in the heart of Texas. Go west young man, and go east crazy girl.

So here's the skinny.... I'm sitting at my desk just over two short weeks ago, when my adorable husband calls me to tell me he's been accepted as a transfer student to a top tier Texas school, after a dissatisfying year at an unranked school in SoCal. We were leaving the very next day to visit his family in Lubbock, and suddenly the trip took on a whole new meaning. What had been just an application on a whim, became a real possibility and the scales on which our lives now hung in the balance. He had applied to a number of great schools in and around LA, but when all was said and done, Texas seemed like an amazing opportunity. Great education, lower cost of living, and a chance to escape LA and make a fresh start.

We revised our travel plans to include a sojourn to Dallas, to allow me to experience firsthand what would quite possibly be my new home. My husband assured me that no decisions had been made, and that he wanted my full agreement before he accepted the Dallas offer. But, oh wait, acceptance and deposit were due on Monday, just 4 short days away.

As we walked through the glorious brick buildings on campus, I noticed a new glow emanating from my husband; one that went far deeper than the effects of the sweltering heat: this place made him happy. It gave him hope. I hadn't seen that look in a long time; and his hope, gave me hope. The decision was made.



The rest of the trip was a flurry of activity; looking at apartments and filling out applications, preparing my resume, and trying to get in touch with those closest to me to fill them in on our new plans. My parents, from whom I inherited the adventuring gene, were on a bike tour near Seattle, and had terrible phone reception. My initial messages served only to terrify them that I had been stricken with some incurable disease; my somber tone and lack of details on the message were met with concerned messages in return that I just tell them outright what was going on. I left a message with all the details, and received a wonderfully supportive email in return. I'm an independent woman, but I don't think the impact of leaving my wonderful parents, sweet nephew, and treasured sister and brother-in-law has sunk in yet.

So here we are, a lifetime of only two weeks later, and our apartment has been packed up, the moving truck is on its way, and my husband is doing his best to set up our new life in Dallas. I'm serving out my notice at my current job, and contemplating what comes next. What career path do I want to pursue? What can I do differently this time? How can I make my life better... more in line with who I am inside?

Sleeping on a sofa and being separated from the love of my life has afforded me plenty of time to consider what is really important in this life. Adventure called, and we answered..... what happens next remains to be seen!