Today is Trav's first day of classes at SMU. Wow. Congratulations Travis! You did it! You made it! You are a 2L at a top tier school, and I couldn't be prouder of your hard work, determination, dedication, intelligence, wit, skill and bravery in leading us into a new life. Today our transition has become very real, rather than some cockamamie fairy tale that I worked up in my imagination.
I gotta admit, it has started to feel that way as I've made my way through four weeks of limbo, living a gypsy life, neither here nor there. You can't imagine my consternation when the Enterprise agent asked me for my address. Hmmm.... I stammered....I suppose you could say it's in Dallas..... Well, is that your mailing address? He asked. For some things yes, for others, no. Gotta catch up on that this weekend, seeing as I have less than a week left as a California citizen.
Can it be real? Is it true that I will not be sleeping on other people's sheets for the rest of my life, using other people's keys and microwaves and scouring their catalogues? That in one week I will be just miles away from my new home?
The initial thrill and anticipation of leaving has crept away, and in its place is a dull ache for all the people I will be leaving, mixed with the fear of the unknown. Will I find a job? Will I like it? How long will it take me to find? Will we make new friends, get involved, find a church, develop a community, feel at home, feel at peace?
The answer to all of these questions is inevitably, yes. These things have a way of working themselves out. They just take time. And diligence. And being present.
Travis had his first interview for summer associate work yesterday, as well as his orientation. I could tell through the phone that he was beaming. Excited by how well the interview had gone, buoyed up by the wonderful new relationships he is forming, and hopeful that this law school experience will exceed the expectations that he had, and did not have met, at his last school. I am so happy for him. And so confident in our decision to make a change. Just this morning I had a colleague tell me that sometimes the best things in life come from major life changes, and I have to agree. I know good things are coming. But I can't help feeling a little afraid... especially as I work through the challenges of wrapping up my old life on my own. I need my husband's hand to hold, his arms to soothe my aching heart, his words of wisdom to bring me back to the present, rather than letting my thoughts run away into the far distant future.
I'm proud of you, T. I can't wait to join you on our adventure!
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